Archive | October, 2010

Black Funeral

27 Oct

I hate funerals.

The wailing the tears the saddened bodies sobbing into one another’s clothes

The tears staining each other’s black taffeta.

The not knowing what to say, who to say it to and who not to confront with your emotions.

The speech you should utter, the words you should not.

The way the sermon continues until every muscle in your inner chest

is wrenched until you can no longer speak, let alone grieve.

I saw the tears today.

Witnessed the pain and tried not to be drawn into the agony of the moment.

So much sobbing I nearly forgot myself and went to turn off the TV I thought I was watching.

Wasn’t it a Hollywood masterpiece designed to make people react emotionally?

No this is life and is sadder than all the magic they deliver to you on screen.

The tears of the boy standing next to me were real.

Wasn’t he the one I used to go to school with and watch as he made a fool of himself in class?

The guy who never displayed his feelings?

Sad the way western society makes him lose himself and play the emotional idiot like a boy,

and then when he retreats back to the “real world”

he will turn into all the other emotionally detached people he imitates everyday.

A guy stood directly behind me and two people were there holding him up,

lest he fell, onto the pavement trying to drag himself under. He was a wreck.

So much blubbering I thought his body would dry up.

Arms flailing all over and people just trying to catch and calm him down.

He didn’t hear any of the service.

Did he feel the guilt? I think it must be burning through his bones,

making him hurt like being cast into the furnace over and over again.

The curtain fell, but no applause rang out,

only the deafening roar of people in pain.

Streaming grief throughout the building and even out into the sunshine.

I wrote this poem back in 2001 after attending the funeral of a kid who was the same age as me. He was killed in a motorbike accident at a party in our sleepy coastal town in WA. Re-reading this poem today it still feels as real and painful as it did back in 2001.

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Current Obsessions:

25 Oct

Mangoes – its the beginning of the season for these juicy wonders and they are definitely taking my fancy. Served chilled with plain greek-style yoghurt they are my current favourite.

Re-reading The Catcher in the Rye – it is my current chosen book for my bookclub and I’ve been putting off reading it. Not because I don’t like it, because I do. I love it. But I had another book I wanted to finish up and take back to the library before I started anything else. It’s been years since I read this book in full. Usually I pick it up quite regularly and read over my favourite passages. There are some great lines in here.
“She had a nice voice. A nice telephone voice, mostly. She should’ve carried a goddam telephone around with her.”

It kills me.

Learning about the death process with Tom Jokinen’s book ‘Curtains’ – I’ve always been a fan of the macabre. This books nicely discusses the transition from death and all that happens to the body after that time. Told with humour and dignity I really like this. Tom Jokinen quit his government job and decided to work at a family-run funeral home and crematorium as a trainee undertaker. And write about it, it seems. At the moment I’m reading about the different chemicals that are pumped into the bodies to give them a natural colour for the viewing. Very interesting stuff.

What’s currently taking your interest?

Trash and Treasure

24 Oct

Today we cleaned out under the stairwell and put out all the junk that had accumulated under there out on the footpath ready for tomorrows council collection day. Including:

1 x red couch
1 x black couch
odd plastic pots
1 x pedestal fan

There were other things down there that did not originate with my brother or I. They included:

1 x bonnet of a car
1 x white dresser
1 x kitchen cupboard
2 x hypodermic needles
at least part of a C41 processor
alot of spiders

There are a lot of people doing the exagerated slow drive by our street at the moment, some people out of the car picking through some of the cast-offs. I’m not sure its going to last long!

Movie I want to see…

22 Oct

A perfect non-date

21 Oct

Last Friday night out with friends I revealed my perfectly zany date idea. It includes fabulous eveningwear, luscious silverware and a very daggy MacDonald’s. This splendid idea occurred to me years and years ago. I used to live in a very small town. No big-brand take-out joints. But in the next town over we eventually got the Golden Arches. And one evening I was there when I came up with the concept of the swish date at MacDonald’s. Right now I imagine myself there with that special someone in formal attire. For myself I picture a long gown in midnight blue, lacy, with thin straps. A tux of course for my date, with a red carnation in the buttonhole. For the date we require: two white china plates, two silver dome plate covers, silver cutlery, candelabra etc… Imagine – Big Macs eaten with a knife and fork! We drink lemonade out of champagne flutes.

I’m quite surprised at how excited my friends seem by my idea. K said we should have a dedicated photographer, and another someone to look after clothing and make-up. It’s becoming quite a production really. Another friend asked if this was ‘first date’ material. Absolutely not! I think it would have to be with someone who has a good sense of the ridiculous and who would appreciate it and not be embarrassed to play along!

The thing I really like about the Maccas idea is that it is combining two elements that normally don’t face off. Classy and daggy. G suggested the date should happen at “the best Macdonalds” in the world. But I think that is missing the point. I love the idea of a dodgy Maccas somewhere in the suburbs, with broken tables and other patrons looking on aghast.

Since last friday night I tried to find out if anyone else in the world has acted on this idea. Instead I found a wonderfully cheesy website dedicated to ideas for Romantic dates. I’ll leave you with some of my favourites:

Decorate a Cake

Go ahead to your local bakery or store and purchase a cake with no design whatsoever. Buy some icing and decorate them yourselves. After that, be playful and stick some icing in each other’s face.

Cherry Picking

Being on a place surrounded by cherries is simply amazing. Pick some cherries up then give it to your partner. Pop it in his/her mouth. Run around the farm and be playful

Play Marbles

Bring back the memories when you were still in kindergarten. Buy some marbles and play with them.

The beginning…

14 Oct

First off, hello there. This is my first post of my very first blog ever. Daunted? Oh yeah. Wondering if this is going to make a spot of difference in the world of the internet. No. But I’m excited. To begin, really that’s half the battle isn’t it?

I’m going to start with a favourite quote. Here is the first line from The Catcher in the Rye by JD Salinger:

“If you really want to hear about it, the first thing you’ll probably want to know is where I was born, and what my lousy childhood was like, and how my parents were occupied and all before they had me, and all that David Copperfield kind of crap, but I don’t feel like going into it, if you want to know the truth.”

What you will read here are some of the amusing stories of daily life, quotes, and overheard words of wisdom. I love rediculous facts. Movies. Cups of tea. Out of control laughter. Reading. Keeping a journal of my life.

So to finish up the first post here is an overheard gem from the other day. I was seated in a much frequented cafe, reading quietly, when I heard:

Dresden? Dresden? Who goes to Dresden? Dresden’s…so Dresden!”